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Book Review | Murder at the Merton Library by Andrea Penrose

From the publisher: A perplexing murder in a renowned Oxford University library and a suspicious fire at a famous inventor’s London laboratory set Wrexford and Lady Charlotte on two separate investigations in this masterfully plotted, atmospheric Regency-set mystery.

Are you looking for a new historical mystery series? Check out Wrexford and Sloane by Andrea Penrose. Charlotte Sloane is a widowed lady of quality with a secret. She is a satirical cartoonist under a pen name. She uses her pen to cast light on injustices and misbehavior. Circumstances bring her together with two orphaned guttersnipes who she comes to love as her own, and with the intimidating Earl of Wrexford. This series has a nice mix of mystery, historical details, and found family. The relationships feature romantic love, parental love, family love, and deep friendships.

The book that introduces these characters and other series regulars is Murder on Black Swan Lane, and book seven in the series is due out in September. This is a great time to start reading, because if you like the first book, you can move right on to the next, but the number of books already published is not intimidating. Set in Regency London, the author likes to spotlight legitimate scientific innovation of the time period. Real scientists make occasional appearances in her stories.

Book seven, Murder at the Merton Library, starts with the murder of an Oxford librarian. It deals with fallout from the Napoleonic wars and intrigue around competition to create a marine propulsion system utilizing steam engines. (If that sounds boring, don’t worry – the author makes it interesting.) The Regency details seem perfect, and the author believably makes her female characters as important to the action as the male characters. I’ve found some of the other books in the series a bit draggy at times, but this one moved along briskly for me.

This series is a lot of fun for the serious historical mystery reader.

I read an advance reader copy of Murder at Merton Library from Netgalley. It is scheduled to be published on September 26. The Galesburg Public Library will own it in multiple formats, and we already own the first six books in the series.

Staff Picks — Anne

As a run-of-the-mill literary fiction fan, the novels on this list will not surprise anyone, however, I challenged myself with a few memoirs. Here are five recent reads I highly recommend.

Lager Queen of Minnesota by J. Ryan Stradal

As a craft beer enthusiast, this book had me at ‘hello’ and bonus points for a Mid-Western setting. The story follows two generations of women brewers, both talented chemists and business professionals, and illustrates how entrepreneurial spirit can lose its way in stuffy board rooms and bottom lines.

Driftless by David Rhodes 

Perhaps I’m biased (I was born in the Driftless Area of Wisconsin) but this was a fantastic read. Small town, small farm characters are fleshed out in each of their own chapters, lives intertwining, as is true. It’s a substantial book and beautiful to read.

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus

Why did I choose this book? Well, the hold list at the library indicated something was going on here. When my copy finally came in, I went along for the ride through this high energy, mid-century setting, hitting sexism head-on with humor, a sentient dog, and many good digs at the patriarchy. ‘This would make an excellent movie’ – I said before I realized it has been made into an Apple TV series!

The Storyteller by Dave Grohl

As a Gen-Xer, musician Dave Grohl’s memoir of the hard work and lucky breaks that led to his fame with Nirvana and Foo Fighters, is pop culture candy. The audiobook kept both my husband and I entertained for hundreds of miles in the car, and the audio book narrated by Dave himself really comes to life with his authentically goofy and riotous voice.

Epilogue by Will Boast

Initially, this memoir peaked my interest because of my familiarity with the settings of Boast’s coming of age (small-town Wisconsin and Knox College), but I whole-heartedly recommend it as an undeniably powerful story in its subject and craft.

Cooking the Books — Yummy: A History of Desserts by Victoria Grace Elliott

Welcome to Cooking the Books, where we try recipes found in, well, books! This month, Children’s Assistant & STEM Specialist Ms. Meghan tried out a recipe from one of her recent favs:

Yummy: A History of Desserts by Victoria Grace Elliott has been on my TBR (To Be Read) list/mountain for over a year now, so I was excited to have a chance to finally get around to it.

This is a nonfiction graphic novel for kids (but readable and enjoyable at any age!) about the history of desserts from around the world. Specifically, it focuses on ice cream, cake, brownies, pie, gummies, and cookies. These tales are introduced to us by Peri, a food sprite, and her sprite friends Fee and Fada. The history of each broad category of delectable dessert is told through a combination of history lessons, story times, science labs, interview corners with famous foodie figures, and recipes! The pages are jam (ha) packed with information and colors, and can at times be a bit difficult to follow. But overall I really enjoyed this book and learned all kinds of fascinating facts, like how in the mid 1800s street vendors used to sell ice cream by the ‘lick’ (exactly as hygienic as it sounds), and the science of how the butter in pastry dough leads to those lovely flaky layers.

I chose to make the Funfetti Cake recipe in cupcake form, as opposed to an 8×8 inch baking pan, since that would be the easiest way to share it with my discerning critics/co-workers. This recipe produces a very wet batter. It was quite messy spooning it into the cupcake liners. I also filled them completely full; this was a change from my usual ‘fill ⅔ full’ method of baking, but hey, I’m following the recipe! Fortunately for my oven, they didn’t overflow during baking like I feared. I did need to add two minutes to the upper range of the baking time listed by the recipe to get them to cook through. Upon removal from the cupcake tray, the paper liners were soaked through with oil.

The cupcakes are incredibly dense and moist. There’s a good flavor, with a hint of tang from the sour cream (which was a new cupcake ingredient for me). If I make these again, I’ll do a frosting from scratch, as I found the canned Pillsbury vanilla to be too sweet for my taste. While my husband and I found this recipe to be a bit too dense and moist, my coworkers disagreed. These traits were mentioned in every review, and almost always positively. ‘Much more flavor than a box mix’, ‘would happily eat again’, and ‘festive and fun for kids!’ were highlights of the reviews. While I found the recipe less than stellar, I really did enjoy the book and look forward to the companion Tasty: A History of Yummy Experiments, which comes out in December.

Cupcakes: 8/10 stars (based on all reviews)

Book: 4/5  stars (based on my own opinion)

The Recipe:

Funfetti Cake

Ingredients:
1 c sugar
½ c butter
¼ c sour cream
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 ½ c flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 c milk
½ tsp salt
½ sprinkles
1 can of your favorite frosting!
(and more sprinkles)

Requirements:
8×8 – inch cake pan or 1 cupcake tin
Mixer with beater attachment
Whisk and spatula
2 large mixing bowls

 

Instructions:

  1. Make sure the butter, eggs, sour cream, and milk are all room temperature!
  2. And before you start, preheat your oven to 350 F. Prepare your pan! If you’re using the cake pan, grease with butter. If you’re making cupcakes, line the cupcake pan with liners
  3. NEXT, cream the softened butter and sour cream with the sugar! Make sure you beat the mixture until it’s light and fluffy.
  4. THEN, beat in one of the eggs until the mixture is fluffy. Then, beat in the other egg until fluffy! Add them one at a time to keep the batter light!
  5. ONCE MIXED, stir in the vanilla.
  6. IN A DIFFERENT BOWL, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt.
  7. FOR THE NEXT STEP, you’ll be taking turns between adding the flour mixture and the milk. Always make sure to mix it in completely before adding more! Add half the flour and mix in with the spatula.
  8. THEN add all the milk and mix.
  9. FINALLY, add the rest of the flour and mix!
  10. NOW’S THE FUN PART! Add the sprinkles! Gently mix until they’re evenly spread, but not for too long.
  11. FINALLY! The batter is ready! Pour into the cake pan and smooth the surface. Or, if you’re making cupcakes, spoon carefully into the liners.
  12. NEXT, bake at 350! The cake will need 30-35 minutes. The cupcakes will need 20-25 minutes. You’ll know it’s done when you stick a toothpick in and it comes out clean!
  13. WHEN IT’S DONE, let it cool COMPLETELY! If you have a cooling rack, use that! If you frost it while it’s still warm, the frosting will melt and get EVERYWHERE!
  14. WHEN IT’S COOLED, DECORATE IT!

Book Review | Starter Villain by John Scalzi

From the publisher: Inheriting your uncle’s supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who’s running the place.

Charlie, the narrator of Starter Villain, is something of an affable idiot. Divorced and living in the childhood home he doesn’t even own due to complications with his siblings after his father’s death, he was laid off from his job as a journalist and is now working as a substitute teacher. He wants to buy a beloved local pub, but he has no money and no collateral. The best thing he has going for him is his relationship with his cats.

Then Charlie’s estranged Uncle Jake dies, and his lawyer shows up asking Charlie to attend his uncle’s memorial. Charlie is hesitant, and finds the request a little weird, but he agrees. And so his life as a starter villain begins. Yes, his uncle owned a large chain of parking structures, but he had other, bigger, more nefarious interests as well (mwa ha ha).

I enjoyed the Chicago area setting, and our narrator is an affable naïf who is fun to spend time with. Scalzi is clearly a cat lover and that certainly resonated with me. In the super villain business, it’s not dogs who spy for villains on other villains. (Yes, the cats are intelligent spies who can type on a computer using a special keyboard. Including Charlie’s cats.) I learned a new word – quisling! (“A traitor who collaborates with an enemy force occupying their country” according to the OED.) The narrative is pro-union, and against cats murdering birds. Intelligent talking dolphins also come into play, and I couldn’t stop myself from singing “So Long and Thanks for All the Fish” every time they made an appearance.

Charlie does better handling the various super villains that he meets than one might expect, and as he doesn’t take things seriously it was hard for me as the reader to take things seriously either. I perhaps did not enjoy Starter Villain as much as I enjoyed The Kaiju Preservation Society; the whole thing came off as a little less original, and the “starter villain” idea began to wear a little thin. Still, Starter Villain was a fun read with some genuine laughs for me.

 I read an advance reader copy of Starter Villain from Netgalley. It is scheduled to be released on September 19 and will be available at the Galesburg Public Library.

Book Review | Disneyland on the Mountain: Walt, the Environmentalists, and the Ski Resort That Never Was by Greg Glasgow and Kathryn Mayer

From the publisher: A fascinating look at Walt Disney’s last, unfinished project and the controversy that surrounded it, including the budding environmental movement that made sure the resort never saw the light of day.

I’m a huge fan of Disneyland, Disney World, Disney movies, and their creator, Walt Disney. Walt Disney revolutionized animated films and theme parks. He truly was an American genius. (And I think he’d be appalled at some of the things being done in his name today.) When I saw a book was coming out about his attempts to build a Disney ski resort destination, I wanted to read it.

I’m afraid to say I did not find the entire book to be “fascinating,” no matter what the blurb says. Parts of the book I did indeed find fascinating, but I think this book could have been a great essay. The book appears to have been exhaustively researched. There are 18 pages of footnotes, a 2 page bibliography, and a 7 page index. There is no doubt that the authors did indeed find the subject fascinating.

The book opens just three months before Walt Disney’s death from lung cancer in December 1966. Right up until the end of his life, he was excited about goals he had for the Disney company. If he had managed to turn California’s Mineral King valley into a Disney resort, it would probably have been amazing. This book tells the story of the environmentalists who were determined to stop the resort from being built. (I got a definite sense that some of the people who already lived in the valley wanted to keep it pristine for themselves. It reminded me of a quote, attributed to Dennis Miller, that I heard my environmentalist brother-in-law repeat more than once: “A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.”)

I did find parts of the book interesting, and I learned things that I did not know. It’s only about 200 pages (not counting the footnotes and index). If you are attracted to all things Disney, you may want to read Disneyland on the Mountain.

I read an advance reader copy of Disneyland on the Mountain from Netgalley. It is scheduled to be published on September 13, and the Galesburg Public Library will own it.

Book Review | The Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

From the publisher: Twenty-year-old Violet Sorrengail was supposed to enter the Scribe Quadrant, living a quiet life among books and history. Now, the commanding general—also known as her tough-as-talons mother—has ordered Violet to join the hundreds of candidates striving to become the elite of Navarre: dragon riders. But when you’re smaller than everyone else and your body is brittle, death is only a heartbeat away…because dragons don’t bond to “fragile” humans. They incinerate them.

Fair to say I’m not the #BookTok demo — for my taste, tropes are bugs, not features, books older than five years are a-okay, and I’m not being sponsored to promote Barnes & Noble. And then we have to consider the genre’s favorite trope: the spicy scene, which, in my experience, few authors know how to actually write in a way that doesn’t rely on repetitious language encounter after encounter. In other words, the whole phenomenon seems fundamentally limiting from a reading perspective, located within some venn diagram nexus of fantasy, young adult, and lightly erotic rom (plus maybe some com). That said, I decided to give Fourth Wing a go anyway, based largely on the then (insanely inflated) Goodreads 4.8 star rating. (*Check notes* — it’s still at a 4.66 with just under 390,000 ratings.)

In fairness, the novel starts off pretty well. Briefly, Fourth Wing follows Violet, a frail 20-year-old aspiring scribe in a violent, war-mongering world where she is forced by her general mother to join an elite school wherein students either become bonded with a dragon and take up the coveted mantle of warrior riders, or they die. Of course, there’s also a dangerous bad boy who also happens to be pathologically irresistible to Violet, as these things go. Given the presence of dragons and schools of fantasy and broody young men, it’s no surprise that the novel is marketed to the #BookTok-endorsed New Adult genre that straddles the Adult/Young Adult line. But make no mistake: we’re pretty firmly in YA territory from the get — meaning the psychological and emotional continuums presented are fairly histrionic and unhealthy.

For all that, the world-building is actually pretty intriguing, even if the structural skeleton in the early going is entirely cribbed from Divergent, which is a woof of a novel in itself. But much like Stephanie Meyer — yes, I’m just name-checking a bunch of YA touchstones here so you understand exactly how derivative this is — Yarros shows skill with ending chapters, encouraging readers to push through with speed, even if there’s a bevy of eye rolls along the way. But the organization of the world built here is fairly appealing from a fantasy perspective, at least enough to encourage investment in watching it unfurl further.

But given the marketing angle, I’d be remiss if I didn’t get to the spice. Sorry, let me be more specific to this novel: the deranged approximation of some pubescent fantasy of sex, which feels dredged up from the perspective of some middle school diary. We’ll keep it PG here, but suffice it to say that the book’s attempts at an R-rating are not likely to please readers going in for such books. The brooding #badboi also claims that the main character here “is going to be the death of” him a dozen or more times, because Yarros just doesn’t seem to have any idea how to write characters who aren’t operating from a place of emotional stability. Instead, she just keeps recycling the same cliches ad nauseam, all of which indicate the need for therapeutic intervention rather than wedding bells. The whole thing scans more like the abandoned script for some SNL sketch sending up super-nerd fanfiction. I’ve read sexier phonebooks.

Again, a good half of this offers easy-reading and propulsive fantasy fun; plus the ending introduces a wrinkle that promises an expansion of the established world, which should appeal to fans of expansive series development. And readers inclined to this sort of thing already aren’t likely to find the faults I did; it’s classic mileage-may-vary kind of book, and I’m absolutely not the intended audience. But as a quick PSA to curious but perhaps hesitant fantasy fans: if you’re happy to take your novels sans loonies slobbering all over each other and decrying life’s meaning in the absence of unhealthy obsession, you should probably pop on over to the next shelf.

September Is Library Card Sign-Up Month!

September is Library Card Sign-up Month and we are celebrating with libraries across the country!

Do YOU have a library card?

Join us during the month of September as we show you why having a library card is ELEMENTAL!   Throughout the month, Galesburg community members are encouraged to come to the library and sign up for a library card! Here is what you need to do:

  • If you live within Galesburg City Limits, stop by the Check-Out desk with your ID and proof of address
  • If you are a student attending Carl Sandburg College or Knox College, stop by the Check-Out desk with your ID and Student ID cards
  • If you are a student between the ages of 5- 18, but live outside of Galesburg City Limits, you are eligible to receive a library card at Galesburg Public Library. Have your parent bring in an ID (unless you are 16 or older, then just bring in your ID)
  • If you are veteran, you and your family are eligible to receive a free library card. Bring in an ID and let us know (if you live outside Galesburg City Limits).

In addition to signing people up for library cards, we are also waiving the replacement fee for library cards if you live within Galesburg City Limits and have lost your card. Each person who signs up for a library card or comes in for a replacement card during the month of September will be entered for a chance to win a library themed prize.

With your library card, you have access to: games, puzzles, pickleball paddles, disc golf discs, hot spots, cakepans, books, audiobooks, databases, book club kits, museum passes, movies, magazines and so much more.   Get ready to ‘Fire up your imagination’ or ‘Dive into a new hobby’ with your library card today.

Once you have your library card, make sure you stop by the Check-Out Desk to try the new Self-Check Kiosk. All items can be checked out at the kiosk unless they need to be unlocked or are a book club book.

If you aren’t able to enjoy the benefits of having a library card in person, we also offer a Home Delivery service for those who are unable to leave their homes due to age, disability, injury, illness, or lack of access to transportation. Give us a call at 309-343-6118 to sign up for this service.

You can also apply for a library card online and we will mail it to you. Simply fill out this form.

Are you ready to get your library card so you can see for yourself why a library card is ELEMENTAL?

Cooking the Books — Kitchens of the Great Midwest by J. Ryan Stradal

 Welcome to Cooking the Books, where we try recipes found in, well, books! This month, Technical Services Supervisor Anne tried out a recipe from one of her recent favs: I first read J. Ryan Stradal’s The Lager Queen of Minnesota this spring and I couldn’t put it down. When it was announced that Stradal was stopping by Galesburg’s Wordsmith Bookshoppe literally days after I finished the novel, I hustled on over. Stradal was polite, unassuming and kindly posed for a photo with me. (I’ll not share the photo as my Saturday-doing-chores look was not my best.) Soon after, I found myself purchasing an autographed copy of his 2015 novel Kitchens of the Great Midwest. The storyline follows the coming of age of Eva, a chef with a select palate, who’s life is woven through a cast of characters, all tied together by food. The book begins with memories of lutefisk, meanders Read more »

New DVDs — August 2023

The Machine

Bert’s drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.

Sanctuary

Follows a dominatrix and Hal, her wealthy client, and the disaster that ensues when Hal tries to end their relationship.

Robots

Charles is a womanizer while Elaine is a gold digger. The duo learn humanity when forced to team up and pursue robot doubles of themselves.

Renfield

Renfield, Dracula’s henchman and inmate at the lunatic asylum for decades, longs for a life away from the Count, his various demands, and all of the bloodshed that comes with them.

Nefarious

New Adult Nonfiction — August 2023

Welcome book enthusiasts! Today is an exciting day for all you nonfiction lovers, as we share some of the most recent true stories to hit our shelves. From captivating biographies that illuminate untold stories, to thought-provoking explorations of science, history, and culture, this latest release of nonfiction books promises to expand your horizons and challenge your intellect. Join us as we delve into the pages of these newly released works that are set to redefine the way we perceive the world around us.

Ultra-Processed People: The Science Behind Food That Isn’t Food by Chris van Tulleken

It’s not you, it’s the food.

We have entered a new age of eating. For the first time in human history, most of our calories come from an entirely novel set of substances called Ultra-Processed Food. There’s a long, formal scientific definition, but it can be boiled down to this: if it’s wrapped in plastic and has at least one ingredient that you wouldn’t find in your kitchen, it’s UPF.

These products are specifically engineered to behave as addictive substances, driving excess consumption. They are now linked to the leading cause of early death globally and the number one cause of environmental destruction. Yet almost all our staple foods are ultra-processed. UPF is our food culture and for many people it is the only available and affordable food.


The Happy Home: The Ultimate Guide to Creating a Home That Brings You Joy by Chelsea Foy

This lovely and inspirational guide, organized around six joyful qualities, will show you how to create a happier home, through prompts, quick fixes, afternoon projects, and mindful design and organization— The Happy Home is not just a title, it’s a promise.

Energize. Uplift. Comfort. Calm. Empower. Express. The road to happiness is paved with good emotions. In fact, a happy home is infused with these six actions and this cheerful book will help you create a space you love and that loves you back. Lovely Indeed creator Chelsea Foy offers up more than 50 creative ideas to engage all the senses to brighten your mood throughout your home. This book sits at the intersection of HGTV home improvements and design, thoughtful Marie Kondo practices, and a cheery color palette fans of the Home Edit will love.


Tangled Vines: Power, Privilege, and the Murdaugh Family Murders by John Glatt

Among the lush, tree-lined waterways of South Carolina low country, the Murdaugh name means power. A century-old, multimillion-dollar law practice has catapulted the family into incredible wealth and local celebrity―but it was an unimaginable tragedy that would thrust them into the national spotlight. On June 7th, 2021, prominent attorney Alex Murdaugh discovered the bodies of his wife, Maggie, and son, Paul, on the grounds of their thousand-acre hunting lodge. The mystery deepened only months later when Alex himself was discovered shot in the head on a local roadside.

But as authorities scrambled for clues and the community reeled from the loss and media attention, dark secrets about this Southern legal dynasty came to light. The Murdaughs, it turned out, were feared as much as they were loved. And they wouldn’t hesitate to wield their influence to protect one of their own; two years before he was killed, a highly intoxicated Paul Murdaugh was at the helm of a boat when it crashed and killed a teenage girl, and his light treatment by police led to speculation that privilege had come into play. As bombshells of financial fraud were revealed and more suspicious deaths were linked to the Murdaughs, a new portrait of Alex Murdaugh a desperate man on the brink of ruin who would do anything, even plan his own death, to save his family’s reputation.


Owner of a Lonely Heart: A Memoir by Bich Minh Nguyen

At the end of the Vietnam War, when Beth Nguyen was eight months old, she and her father, sister, grandmother, and uncles fled Saigon for America. Beth’s mother stayed—or was left—behind, and they did not meet again until Beth was nineteen. Over the course of her adult life, she and her mother have spent less than twenty-four hours together.

Owner of a Lonely Heart is a memoir about parenthood, absence, and the condition of being a refugee: the story of Beth’s relationship with her mother. Framed by a handful of visits over the course of many years—sometimes brief, sometimes interrupted, sometimes with her mother alone and sometimes with her sister—Beth tells a coming-of-age story that spans her own Midwestern childhood, her first meeting with her mother, and becoming a parent herself.


Mystical Mushrooms: Discover the Magic & Folklore of Fantastic Fungi by Aurora Kane

Mystical Mushrooms defines the beauty of mushrooms by focusing on their magical connections and symbolic meanings through folkloric tales and superstitions throughout the world. Go for a walk in the woods on any given summer day and you may find yourself surrounded in fungi galore as they lay nestled among the ferns and trees. After a rainstorm, peek out in your backyard and you may see tiny spores sprouting from the grass, forming what is known as a fairy ring. Mushrooms grow in all shapes, sizes, and colors and—depending on where you live—you might find some that are conducive to magic practice. Mystical Mushrooms enters this realm, exploring the magical properties, mythological connections, and symbolic qualities of the fungi that so intrigue us .  Author Mandie Quark takes you on a journey through the mystical universe of mushrooms. From Buddhist traditions to the concept of fairy rings, Quark reveals how mushrooms have long been entwined with the supernatural in art, literature, and religion.


LGBTQ Family Building: A Guide for Prospective Parents by Abbie E. Goldberg

From surrogacy and adoption, to transgender pregnancy and finding child care, parenting as an LGBTQ person is complex. This book is an authoritative, comprehensive, and easy‑to‑read guide to parenthood and family  building for LGBTQ people.

The path to becoming a parent is complicated for LGBTQ people. Some LGBTQ people don’t consider parenthood because of stereotypes and barriers, while others are interested in parenthood but unsure about the first steps or overwhelmed by the path to take. Still others are discouraged by the attitudes of their family, community, or religion.


Incurable Optimist: Living With Illness & Chronic Hope by Jennifer Cramer-Miller

At twenty-two, Jennifer Cramer-Miller was thrilled with her new job, charming boyfriend, and Seattle apartment. Then she received a devastating autoimmune diagnosis—and suddenly, rather than planning for a bright future, she found herself soaking a hospital pillow with tears and grappling with words like “progressive” and “incurable.”

That day, Cramer-Miller unwillingly crossed over from wellness to chronic illness—from thriving to kidney failure. Her chances of survival hinged upon on the expertise of doctors, the generosity of strangers, and the benevolence of loved ones. But what kind of life would that be?


When a Loved One Has Dementia by Eveline Helmink

A vital source of solace and compassion for those whose loved one has dementia, rooted in the author’s unflinching experience of caring for her mother.

Dementia enters life through the back door, slipping in unnoticed. Once it’s there, it can make you feel powerless, angry, and unsure how to move forward. When her mother developed dementia, Eveline Helmink wasn’t prepared. As she learned firsthand, when your loved one is suffering, it takes a toll on you, too.